When Your Ex Is Turning the Children Against You During a Divorce

⭐ When Your Ex Is Turning the Children Against You During a Divorce

Parental alienation can be one of the most painful experiences during a divorce, especially when you feel your former partner is influencing your children’s feelings or behaviour towards you. Acting quickly is essential — the longer alienation continues, the harder it becomes to repair. Below are practical steps you can take to protect your relationship with your children and prevent further damage.

📝 Keep a detailed contact diary

One of the most important things you can do is document everything. Keep a clear record of:

• Missed handovers

• Early or late collections

• Excuses given for cancelled contact

• Any hostile or abusive behaviour during handovers

• Patterns showing your ex is blocking or disrupting time with your children

If possible, record incidents safely. This evidence can be crucial if the situation escalates to court.

✉️ Send a child‑focused letter

Write a calm, child‑centred letter to the parent who is attempting to turn your children against you. Avoid discussing unrelated issues from the divorce. Focus only on:

• Specific examples of alienating behaviour

• How these actions affect the children

• Why maintaining a healthy relationship with both parents is important

Keep the tone neutral and constructive.

🤝 Try mediation

Mediation provides a neutral space for both parents to discuss concerns. Go in with an open mind and focus on what benefits the children most. Bring your diary as evidence if needed. Allow your ex to speak and try to understand their perspective, even if you disagree.

⚖️ Apply for a Child Arrangements Order

If mediation and communication fail, you may need to apply for a Child Arrangements Order. Acting quickly is vital — ongoing alienation can escalate fast. This order helps formalise contact and prevents further interference.

📌 Enforce an existing court order

If you already have a court order and your ex is breaching it, you can apply for enforcement using a C79. You do not need mediation for this route. You will need to show a pattern of deliberate breaches — usually at least three — which is why keeping a diary is essential.